Potatoes

I don't drive, I've never had any lessons. The main reason for this is that it takes a lot of concentration to keep a car under control and I have the attention span of a slug... A car if not used properly is essentially a leather weapon and I can’t trust myself with that amount of responsibility... I have trouble using a tin opener correctly let alone a car... Does it go flat on top of the tin Or on the side? If I drove a car I would be expected to remember Which pedal is the break and which is the accelerator And I have two left feet And don’t know my left from my right most of the time Apart from when it comes to Voting in an election. But I could never concentrate long enough To keep a car on the road My mind wanders of at a tangent I wouldn’t be safe I have too much crap in my head Questions that hijack my brain Who did let the dogs out? Who did eat all the pies? Who the fuck is Alice? And what is Victoria's secret? Why can I never get this rubbish out of my brain? I failed all my exams in school Everything I learnt just evaporated But I can still remember The opening monologue from he man And the masters of the universe And the theme to the fresh Prince of belle air But I can’t speak a word of French Or do my 7x table Even though I studied for 5 years at school And I can’t blame the school Because some of my former school mates are now millionaires In banking and computers But I am so easily distracted It doesn’t take much to make me take my eye of the ball I can go shopping for bread and milk And come back with potatoes  Because I forgot what I went there for I’m awful with names so so bad If I want to buy a book I have to look through them all A to Z Hoping seeing it will jog my memory I can’t even memorize my poetry And I wrote it So I have to read from a book Why can I remember useless trap But not stuff that is important? I swear I could plan my own surprise party And still forget to turn up It really is that bad What was I saying?