These are the things that get me mad

Busses that are always late Banks that have low interest rate People talking when you are watching a movie When you are out with your matesAnd they are being gloomy Adverts for pay day loans on the telly When you get an ache in your belly Vending machines that are out of order In school when you had to play the recorder Far right groups that come to our town Lifts going up when you want to go down These are the things that get me mad Trolleys with a wobbly wheel Oranges with impenetrable peel Computer programmes not responding The last episode of the season that leaves you longing My alarm going off way to early People who are always surly Bleeping the swearing on TV Waking up in the night and needing a wee Tabloid papers telling lies Having to use them for swatting flies Rubbish number one’s, who bought that crap? People that you want to slap Donald Trump and Nigel Firage Ignorant shoppers who push and barge These are the things that get me mad When you tell a joke and nobody gets it People that say a jaffa cake isn’t a biscuit Light on red when you are already late Strangers insisting on calling you mate People that tell you how to do your job Burning a pan when it’s on the hob People who never say please or thank you The end of the month when you know that the rents due People who mock you because you like reading The garden that needs constantly weeding Your mobile phone battery going flat When your name isn’t in the hat Tickets that are gone as soon as on sale Trains that were better with British rail These are the things that get me mad The government that lies and says were in this together When it’s your day off and its shitty weather Crap TV on a Saturday night Piss heads in town that want to fight Nightclub doormen that are over zealous Lotto winners that make you jealous When it goes dark before you leave work Work mates that are lazy and shirk Doctors’ appointments that are never on time Lines in a poem when you cant find the rhyme Writers block when your mind is blank When you open the washer and your jumper shrank Ignorant people that have no manors Papers with misleading banners When they ask you to work on your day off When you are chesty and have a cough Spiders on the cealing just above your head Earworms that you cant stop humming When your fingers wont stop drumming Quiz answers that are on the tip of your tongue But when you hear the answer you got it wrong A terrible cover of your favourite song When your commute is way too long These are the things that make me mad Breaking in a new pair of shoes Crossword puzzles with ridiculous clues When the phone rings when you are in the shower Getting to the pub and missing happy hour People that park in disabled spaces People on the bus with too many cases When the clocks go forward and you loose an hour Getting caught without a coat in an unexpected shower Movies that leave you with too many questions When everyone has a different suggestion Bigots and racists and all around bullies Closing down C and A and Woolies These are the things that get me mad Bands that re form with one original member Letters that get returned to sender Always backing the loosing team Waking up from a beautiful dream But I’ll tell you what makes me mad the most When the smoke alarm goes crazy over apiece of burnt toast